Seeking the Truth Behind the Pomp and Pageantry of the World



fact or FICTION?
you judge

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Alone with My Thoughts..

Here is my reply in response to a discussion on a forum about how to get along and stay positive in these trying times.

I used to let things depress me, but in these trying times, oddly enough I am happier than ever. Well maybe not completely and utterly joyful, but I just don't let anything get to me. And, I have no fear of anything. Nothing. We should not fear, everything runs as it should be even if we can't see it. Everything happens for a reason. That belief alone will carry anyone through. Anyway, I can agree with what some of the others said on here, I feel like I lead a double life sometimes as well. I can only truly be myself with myself. I am not 'fake' around others, unless I'm around someone who is truly superficial or shallow, but I can't be around someone like that for very long at all. But even then, I try to be sincere and 'happy' and positive.

But, I spend an inordinate amount of time alone, although a lot of it is spent on the computer, like on sites such as these. I am most happy when reading writing about things like this on this forum, the truth.. what can I say - I love thinking! And learning and seeking the Truth.. the center of things.. I cannot stand to only look at the surface of something. It eats through me until I seek and find the center.

I have so many friends that want to talk to me, but I almost detest being on the phone. I could probably go weeks without talking to anyone, perhaps. I haven't tried it. I am not anti-social, on the contrary, but when I am at home, I just like to be left alone to my thoughts, and my computer etc. or watching movies, I like to be alone with my thoughts. Sometimes I just can't fathom how other people live without having their own thoughts.. I think people are drawn to me because they see how meditative and thoughtful I am and they want some of it, but anyone can and should get that for themselves.. perhaps it is my way of communing with God.. in my own way. There, some of my inner thoughts and ways..